a b e - s t e r i a

ALOHA PEEPS!! i'm finally back from my hospitalisation due to dengue. man i dont even know where and when did i get bitten by that notorious 6 legged, bloodsucking zebra! sonofabitch! i could've died from the disease! u guys better fumigate your areas if u find that mosquitos are suddenly so abundant.

my days at assunta hospital were crappy.. the food should've been labelled clinically hazardous to one's health and they should invent a new way of extracting blood from patients without using a needle! they use bicycle needle pumps now? wtf? it was so big i thought i'd be bleeding to death.. oh well now that that hell's over, i'm glad to be back home wif my fwens and family!

many thanks go to all those who came and visited me: jay jay, nadya, edward, adrian, charmaine, trevor, shai, sharm, zul, prem, hamzah, shawn, anand, pamela, nani, michelle, nat, my cousin eu jin, scott, uncle ben and aunty mary (charmaine's parents), xavie, raymond, zam and my family members. if i left out any of you, i thank you too.. u know la.. since i got the fever, my memory hasnt been very good LOL.

Take the What
animal best portrays your sexual appetite?? Quiz

hey guys.. please take note that i have changed my number to 0163489354.. do update your phone book,, this is a prepaid line so if you guys get a missed call from me, PLEASE CALL BACK hehehe.. thanks!!

BOY INTERRUPTED (WARNING: ADULT DISCRETION RECOMMENDED)

I’d like to express my extreme point of view
To all who dissed me, well, FUCK YOU!
You don’t know the pain I have inside
You step all over me cos you have lots to hide

I know your fears, I know your pain
Angel of death, you, he shall slay
Spawns of hell will be your darkest hour
They shall rip your life and make it sour

Fumes of anger instills the hate
For a trophy, I want your head
On a silver platter it shall be
Revenge it shall take for me

Misery, torment and all that’s torturous
I shall make your living disastrous
I won’t forget the pain you’ve caused
Darkness of night shall make you lost

Blood is what I now want to see
Frozen in a chalice I want it to be
Bleed; bleed till you can bleed no more
Take revenge, to myself I swore

As a full moon rises above the clouds
Around the circle, my minions shall crowd
One by one, they go out and hunt
Not with a sword and not with a gun

Infest in you, they shall
My bidding, they will do well
Until my revenge and deed is done
You cannot hide, you cannot run

The pain you’ve caused is irreparable
I’ll make sure the pain for you is unbearable
Taste my anger and taste my wrath
I won’t make it swift; I’ll never make it fast

The time to call upon evil has come
You’ll have it all; you won’t have some
By the end of the torture, regret you will
If not, more pain I will instill

For your sanity and safety, heed this warning
Never again will you see the morning
Crawl on you knees if you must
For what has happened to me, was not just.

MEMOIR OF A MAGE

There seems to be a void within these four walls
It speaks to me with a voice so gentle
Gentler than the gentle breeze that blows
From rapid movements of the soul that’s alluring
To the base of human nature to rebel
The void grew bigger day by day
Consuming everything that was once called ‘faith’
Grasping it in its strong and powerful talons
It squeezes the essence known to humans as religion
‘Faith’, as they call it diminished with the end of sympathy
From whence it came, no one saw the end of its hunger
One by one, humans fall prey to one diabolical creature
One that consumes all that is good within the tender walls of the soul
To philosophers who yield the wisdom to decipher
They called it Lucifer, Satan and even Beelzebub
To the common foe that is man, they called it
Greed

THE LITTLE BOY

There was once a little boy
Who only had his toy
Playing a fool is what he did
Then, reality hit

He grew up one day
Thinking that things will be okay
He saw the world from an angle
Which only gave him anger

For years he searched himself
Finding for an answer to soothe the hell
He only found void and despair
Finding out that people don’t care

Suicide seemed to be his only choice
If only someone can hear his voice
Love seemed so distant and so far
He only found loneliness that was vast

Time passed and thought time healed
Once again, his pain revealed
Running away so far, he tried
Wishing things would be better if he died

Coming to an end, he wishes so
Wishing for a star to show him through
The little boy once jubilant before
Is far beyond help right to the core

ETERNITY (Dedicated to my neighbour, the late Ms Peggy Lee)

There isn’t much that I can say
Except to ask why did you go away?
I was at the peak of heaven’s gate
But now I guess this is your fate

You taught so much there is to know
You even brought me to the end of the rainbow
But now I know that you are safe
No more difficulties you have to face

Time alone will tell
So all I do now is wish you well
Although now you reside with the stars
I know now gone are your scars

Though gone far away
My memories of you shall stay
In the core of my heart forever you shall be
And that’s where you’ll stay for eternity

MOTHER

You bore such pain to bring me here
You were always there to help me face my fears
Such love, I’m indeed unworthy
Even more so with such beauty

You’ve given so much to me, I cannot lie
I shall bear this truth until the day I die
You brought me up only to be hurt
But yet you continued to care according to your word

Why do you do this if I may ask?
Why go through this meticulous task?
“Because I love you”, you answered with full of glow
I was such a pain to you, why didn’t you let me go?

Unconditional love is somewhat hard to comprehend
But I’ll do my best to help you understand
You see a tree that forgets the ground and reaches for the skies?
The earth still welcomes it back the day it dies

Thank you will never be enough for the things you’ve done for me
For all the things I’ve put you through, in debt I’ll forever be
Nothing and no one could make me find another
For you are my one and only loving mother

IF ONLY YOU KNEW

Words cannot describe how I feel
Even scholars could never tell what I’m trying to yield
Words don’t make a sound, they cannot speak
But they do try to tell what’s making me weak

Your voice simply melts the hardest part of my heart
But yet they strengthen me whenever we are apart
Your presence around me fills me with joy
The slightest touch from you sends me all coy

Every hug you give me sends a message of love
An affirmation that you have been sent from above
Each time we kiss is such a bliss
This is one thing in the world I will not miss

I was such a fool to be played
By people whom I thought would never leave me astray
Until I met you then I only knew
These people were nothing compared to you

You care for me like a mother cares for her child
You tamed me although I was very wild
If I’ve inflicted any hurt or pain
Just tell me that I’m to be blamed

Your love carries me on the wings of angels
Your love shields me from pain from every angle
You’ve built for me a foundation to stand on
I’ll do my best to make you proud even when I’m all tattered and torn

Whenever I’m all sad, blue and down
You always reminded me never to frown
Your love is so powerful you haven’t got a clue
You can move mountains of fear if only you knew

ANGELS (Dedicated to Charmaine, Tania & Caroline)

There seems to be something heavenly
Whenever I gaze into such beauty
Such a thing shouldn’t exist here
On earth, where there’s only fear

To these God-made maidens of Heaven
I’m now affirmed that I’ve not been forsaken
Your voices send such melodic resonance
Words of comfort and hope are in your stances

Angels such as yourselves need no gesture
Your wings spread love without measure
Amazing beauty is all I can say
Holding my hand day after day

Through the storms that cast the shackles
A stroke of your wings makes them brittle
For that, I can now break free
I thank God above for sending angels to me

For the times you’ve been there for me
In debt, forever I will be
For my little angels who’ve helped me through
Three words I can only utter – I love you

.:: CHARMAINE ::.

this chun babe is my very very good female friend and she is one that has stuck by me thru the fiery ambers of hell (FUYOH!). seriously, she and i go a looooooong way back. both of us are somewhat identical in character. we're both looney and crazy at times and can be really emotional. back in the days, we actually fought over a hair clip (henceforth shall be known as the 'incident' heheh) and this particular argument was the funniest. when charmaine and i look back on it, we find it so damn funny. you guys wouldnt know, would you? hehee.. well, its pretty much a long story so we'll fill you in if you ask.

apart from being crazy and just plain bodoh, this hot chica has a very good heart. she's kind, sensitive and considerate. her intelligence can certainly be mind blowing and her theories are interesting, if not funny HAHAHAHA! least to say, this woman has it all - beauty AND brains. the intimacy that we share is so deep that it cannot be reduced into writing. in my personal opinion, charmaine is the epitomy of what it takes to be a woman (no offence to other females out there)

her sense of humour is also mind numbing and tummy-ache inducing. her laugh is so contagious, you'd need a doctor's prescription for reducing the happy bone syndrome. once, we were in the car and she was at the wheel, we laughed so hard, she nearly lost control of the car as she was trying to contain herself and hold the wheel at the same time.. HAHAHAHA.. damn funny! if there was one word to describe this heavenly gift, it'd be, 'angelic'. my dear girl girl, i love you and thanks for being there for me whenever i needed you. the impact you've made in my life has no appropriate word to describe it.



LOVE YA BABE!!

.:: ALIF ::.

i've begun my write-about-my-friends phase as of today. i feel that i owe quite a bit to them as they've been there for me thru thick and thin. now, what can i say about alif aka alip aka ifa hee hee . i've known him since i was in form 2 which, would approximately mean i was 14 then. ever since, we've been great buddies but ofcourse, been thru nonsense togeder-geder hee hee. back then, alif and i were prefects but he's the good one and i'm the evil one . i used to allow the students to smoke during recess and watched out for the teachers for them haha.

knowing alif has indeed opened up my eyes to a lot of things. he has been driving me around ever since he got his license and his car. sorry wei, i've got no car. when my dad gets his sonata, i'll drive u up the wall eh i mean,.. drive you around heheheheh . this dude can certainly carry a tune and has a voice of gold. he denies this but heck, what does he know? hahaa.. if you guys ever get the chance, ask him to sing. i personally feel that his voice is very "whitney" and "siti nurhaliza" hehehe.. not only that he can sing, his vocals are pretty strong.. thanks to him, i may require a hearing aid soon.

alif's sense of humor can definitely give u a tummy cramp.. i've enjoyed his company ever since i met him. combining him and jay jay, royal london circus would definitely want to employ them (i'm so gonna get killed). here are some pics of us being bodoh:


Alif & Charmaine


The three stooges


Alif, Charmaine & Jay Jay

you guys can check out more pics at my Yahoo! Photo Album. do leave a comment or two for my reading pleasure hehehe

.:: KEL LI ::.

just got off the phone with a sweet gal i got to know thru friendster. isnt it amazing what technology can do? she needed help with some stuff relating to law and i feel bad cos i've not read up much of my own stuff. this girl, kel li is really sweet and hope that one day i get to meet her. she's currently undertaking the Canadian Matriculation Program (CMP) in sunway college and i honestly believe that she will go far. unlike me, i've got so many distractions and i'm naturally easily distracted from my books . talking to this girl has made me see how much life has to offer and i feel good that i was able to help her out in some way.

our friendship so far has not only based on academics (it'll be really boring wouldnt it?) but also on what makes the world go round. kel li reminds me of myself in a lot of ways and i guess thats really nice. that, i suppose, also explains why the both of us can click real well.

KEL LI : you have a lot of potential in you. remember that whatever happens, there is ALWAYS hope and me . do not ever forsake your dreams and keep on believing in yourself. man, i sound like mariah carey hee hee. u're very young and have many years ahead of you. u've got what it takes to take on this funny world and most definitely, u can succeed if you put ur mind to it.

well, i guess thats it for now. this girl has more to offer and when that time comes, i'll campak everything in here hehe.